Thursday, April 26, 2007

Changes

I have never liked changes, especially when they are forced upon me. It seems that I go through times when nothing new happens, maybe for years. And then, suddenly, in the blink of an eye things change. It's almost like when someone dies and you realize the world has lost another person, yet the world doesn't really notice. That person is here one day and gone the next. Or you find yourself driving your child to college and something inside knows it's the end of an era, things will never be the same. I have had too many changes lately, and my head feels like it's spinning. My son told me last week he will not be coming home this summer. He will be staying in Nashville to continue a research project. It seems as if he's really grown up and on his own for the first time. My oldest daughter will be going to college this fall and she has decided to live in the dorm, even though we live close enough for her to commute. I understand completely, but that doesn't mean I'm happy about it, especially with her health problems. But, she has plenty of scholarship money to stay in the dorm and pay tuition, and I know it's for the best. My parents just informed me they will be moving into town as soon as they get things organized and packed. They have always, and by "always" I mean almost thirty years, lived just down the road from me. That has been a great comfort to me on many levels. When my husband died, I knew I could always go talk with my mom if I got lonely for adult talk. As they've gotten older, I feel like I'm close enough to help if anything comes up. I drive my mom to town off and on and I take them certain foods I fix because my mom no longer likes to bake. Mom is sick again and the dr. doesn't really know what it is. She goes in for tests next week. My dad says he wants her living closer to doctors and hospitals. He says the farm is too much for him now, he can't keep care of the land and it drives him crazy to see things growing up all around him. My father has always hated the city. I can't imagine he'll be happy living in town. Isn't it sad that age takes so much from us. My father says he has heard people say how wonderful it is to get older and wiser. He says there is absolutely nothing good about getting old. I'm trying to decide if I'm going to move. It will be hard to live where I live now without the kids. And, everytime I pass my parents long driveway I know I'll want to drive up it. I'm certainly not ready to move into town, but my youngest is still at home and I'm sure she would love to have a neighbor or two with children. decisions decisions......

1 comment:

Grammie said...

What a beautiful, thoughtful post, Teresa. I could feel your emotions through your words.

With my boys both married and on their own and living out of town, and then my late in life divorce, I can totally relate to your feelings. We are almost 'forced' to 'be adults' way before we are ready to! : )

As far as my blog, I hadn't gotten any word that others are having trouble signing on to it. When you do get on, can you see all of the posts...or just the most recent? Let me know what happens when you try to access it. (you can email me at lgmaxg@aol.com)

Take care of yourself...and have a nice day,
Grammie

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